Since I’ve gained some male
interest (boo-yah!) and these males have contacted me, I thought it would be less
confusing (and fair to them) to refer to communications from them with fake names.
*Fred messaged my account at 2am asking me to text
him, but I viewed it as a drunken embarrassment for him, and he apologised.
Not that he needed to. It struck me as a little odd (though I know it's odd
to scrutinise). If you were in the habit of messaging others when drunk,
would you go to the effort of signing in to a dating service to do it? Maybe
I’m being naive but why not just give a friend a call?
We’ll call the next fellow Tim* because it’s a polite
sounding name and he messages consistently and politely. I shouldn’t complain
as it’s nice to have attention and chats, but I’m the kind of girl who likes to
have a bit of chase, some mystery, at least at first. I could name a few people
who have given away too much too soon (we’ve all done it) and I lost interest
and I’m afraid this guy might be one of those. I am living on a farm at the moment so I don’t have a whole lot of
witty anecdotes from my terribly exciting life and it’s entirely likely the
chat will run dry as there’s not huge amounts of banter sidling along with the
constant updates of day to day life- which by the way, not exactly the best way
of enticing a newbie.
‘Hi my name’s insert name . Today I ate breakfast, went to work
and drank a coffee.’
Raise the roof! And I’ve been sending just as boring
messages back so I know I’m no better. But I wont be harsh, I’ll keep talking
to this bloke for the experiment and ‘cos he seems nice.
I also had a very witty message from a new guy. We’ll
call him Henry because every Henry
I’ve ever met has been fun. *Henry sent me a message that showed he’d read my
profile and it made me laugh, out loud actually. A genuine LOL using a dating website, romance for the digital age? I'm not sure if that's supposed to be ironic or just sad. Anyway, the high point was reading that
he has ‘ten judgemental spiders who are allergic to cheese’ as it messes up
their ‘web glands’.
I don’t know about anyone else out there, regardless of gender, but when I receive interest from someone who appears not to have received their genetics from trolls (i.e cute and smart and funny- what?!) I tend to get a bit excited because it doesn’t happen that often. Obviously I sent him a totally incoherent response in my attempt to be hilarious.
Possible irony or sadness aside, when you genuinely connect with someone you should be able to do it via email or face to face conversation. Having said that it is possible that you can write wonderful emails to someone as you have the time to edit and re-draft to make things perfect and intelligible, but then you could talk in person and it might all go to pot.
SO…
In the space of a week I seem to have opened my mind to
new people. I previously looked upon communicating with men as some dirty act
akin to being raped in the mouth and already I can feel my scepticism and dread
ebbing away. In as much as I am quite happy being single and doing my own
thing, it’s just nice to begin chatting to someone
like a normal human being, and with the knowledge and flattery that there was
something about you that caught their attention other than your vagina. Which
they can’t attempt to get in to immediately as they haven’t met you in the
flesh and can’t try to read your thoughts via your boobs.
N.B. I noticed I haven't defined what this experiment is for. Well, it's to see how using a dating website differs from meeting someone face to face as an overall experience. Among a few questions in my head for this I wondered, is it less romantic or does that not matter these days? Is it just a big hoax set up by the government for the purposes of extinguishing us all quickly and painlessly in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Are the people you meet on this anything like the people you habitually date?
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