I seem to keep getting matched with guys I have very
little in common with. Some of them have got in contact. Some of them have a
couple of similar interests to myself. Two in particular look like old
boyfriends. One of which even has the same name and occupation and looks like
his old counterpart. A huge ‘NO’ for these guys!
I’m sorry, I have nothing against them as individuals
or the exes for that matter, but that route is unhealthy. Going out with
someone who looks like a past boyfriend (or girlfriend) is bad for you and for
him. You will be reminded of your past and come to expect similar behaviours,
jokes, experiences from this person who is completely new to you, apart from
their face! (I was not listening to Usher when I wrote this.) This poor guy
will be completely baffled at your crazy behaviour which has been affected by
how much they remind you of your first boyfriend (or girlfriend) / the one who
got away/ the one who got the dog/the one who used to steal your underwear (for
instance). It’s not fair on either of you to go there. So do yourselves a favour.
Don’t live in the past.
A few days later…
I have noticed, that I am beginning to view matches in
a different way. I am trying to shed old habits of judging books by their
covers, [relieve your eyebrows of that scandalised rise, we all do it] without too
much effort, and I think it’s a good idea to examine people based more on their
qualities and values. It’s quite easy to write people off based on a photo on
the internet when you’ve never met them and they’re just an image to you.
I have also noticed on the site, that some match
profiles and even messages from matches, have words that are underlined. If you
click on them it takes you to a survey site. Seemingly even private messages and
romance are open to advertising. What did I expect? It’s a dating service and
we live in a world of consumerism, maximised profit and marketing.
If you were on a date with a flesh and blood person,
would it be normal for your date to ask you to take a survey, offer you an
I-phone and flash cards of porn films in front of you? And there I was wondering
why I ever suspected Internet dating of being utilitarian.
That’s not to say that I haven’t learnt anything from
this experience. I’ve learnt that surprises can come in all shapes and forms.
They can be a physical bunch of flowers delivered under your nose, or a
metaphysical notion of something you never knew about yourself.
Like surprises, love can come from anywhere and I
think that’s where this online dating wants to show us- underneath the clear
opportunity to make us pay shiny gold internet coins first. The taboo is fading. Rumple-Stiltskin
isn’t waiting for us underneath a bridge with his laptop plugged in to the
hunch on his back, while he tries to convince some poor unsuspecting person
that he’s the answer to their lonely dreams. Actually paying those shiny gold
coins tends to weed out those not-so-honest trolls.
So if it suits you to do it perhaps you have prosaic
career-driven week. Perhaps Friday-night-binge-drinking isn’t opening up any
new paths on the love trail. Whatever the reason, if your current lifestyle
makes it hard for you to meet Prince or Princess Charming, then maybe you can
open up to the possibility that this service could help you get those Sunday
night, cold winter cuddles we all like.
Getting to know someone new is exciting. Just make
sure you meet in a public place at first.
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